Party-Directed Mediation
Download an hour audio seminar on Empathic Listening Skills (the process of listening so others will talk and feel heard is called empathic listening). These are essential skills for mediators as well as for individuals involved in conflict. Click above on "listening skills" link. Even better, click on the EMPATHIC LISTENING AUDIO link on the right hand side of this page. You may also download a one and a half hour seminar on interpersonal negotiation skills. Click on "negotiation skills" link.


Party-Directed Mediation: Helping Others Resolve Differences (2nd Edition) free PDF book may be downloaded from

Media to support Party-Directed Mediation: Video, audio and other media is meant for the training of mediators, facilitators, students, and others interested in conflict management, communication, and interpersonal negotiation skills.

Media Catalogue

Interpersonal Negotiation Skills-001-V. Video and slide presentation on Interpersonal Negotiation Skills (Chapter 4 of PDM) given at California State University Stanislaus around September 2013 before faculty and staff. Topics covered include 3-minute talk, miniature hammer, positive fermentation, avoiding defensiveness and a host of other negotiation techniques for dealing with interpersonal differences without contention. Special thanks to Kelly Mode and Jerome Anderson. February 2014. Duration: 102 minutes (Or, 141 minutes youtube without slides.)

EMPATHIC LISTENING AUDIO. Listen to the Empathic Listening Skills chapter on MP3.January 2019.

NPA-001-V. Introductory pre-caucus of subordinate, a graphic designer, in a Negotiated Performance Appraisal (NPA). Contention is not an issue between the subordinate and her supervisor. Only subordinate is depicted in the video. Some noise interference. February 2010. Duration: 45 minutes.

NPA-002-V. Introductory pre-caucus of supervisor, in vendor management enterprise, in a Negotiated Performance Appraisal (NPA). Contention is not an issue between the supervisor and her subordinate. Only supervisor is depicted in the video. The supervisor is a master praiser, and needed little coaching in this area. Extensive coaching in terms of how to respond to List III. February 2010. Duration: 68 minutes.

Responding without defensiveness-001-V. This presentation introduces four specific steps for effectively transforming even the most provocative personal attacks into something constructive. Listeners may wish to also read Chapter 4 of Party-Directed Mediation, Interpersonal Negotiation Skills. April 2012, Duration: about 10 minutes plus homework.

Thanks. I wish to thank the many individuals who have volunteered of their time and who have been willing to share their thoughts and feelings in these video and audio presentations. Some of the circumstances have been changed.

Distribution. University faculty, educators, consultants, or others who wish to use these materials may obtain permission to show them or make copies for course participants as long as: (1) the author and the University of California are credited; (2) no changes are made in the media; (3) copyright notice is left intact; (4) there is no charge to students or participants for the materials (beyond the costs of duplication); and 5) you send an E-mail request along with your name, University affiliation, and course title to Gregorio Billikopf. No part of these modules, video, or audio may be altered, reproduced or separated from the complete package (including text, photos, and graphic elements).

Comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated. You may write the author at or call 209-525-6800.

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23 January 2019


14 March 2014