Laid Off Geneticist Goes on Sequencing Rampage

sequencer_1232Berkeley, CA – A genetics researcher who was informed that he was being laid off due to funding cut backs barricaded himself in a laboratory and went on a 36 hour gene sequencing spree. The scientist, who was not named by administrators, was reported by the University to be an experienced geneticist, and there was concern that he may have been trying to shotgun sequence an entire genome behind the blockaded lab doors.

The authorities locked down the entire genetics center, forcing other employees in the building to shelter in place overnight, which apparently went unnoticed since they had planned to be there all night anyhow. Officials also cordoned off the entire area and evacuated surrounding buildings, which elicited loud protests from other research groups who complained bitterly that they were not part of the lockdown.

At a news conference today a spokesperson said that the situation could have been much more difficult as, “He had enough Taq polymerase and master mix to hole up in there for a week, longer if he was just running fragment analyses”.  The stand off was resolved peacefully purportedly after the unnamed researcher finished up his last droplet digital PCR run and gave himself up. As he was being led away he was reported to have said, “ta da“!

Speaking off the record, a criminologist with the Forensics lab was quoted as saying, “The on site technicians will have to finish some alignments and run the data through NCBI Blast but his stuff looks pretty good”. The geneticist was described fondly by colleagues as, “just another guy who works here 24hrs a day.”




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