Berkeley, CA –Stan Darderror, lab manager for a large research lab at the University, confided in colleagues today that he “totally botched” a series of interviews with prospective interns earlier this week. Mr. Darderror had scheduled 20 minute appointments to interview and evaluate candidates to fill an open slot for a new “pipetmonkey”, the lowest level position in the lab group. “I thought I was ready”, Darderror said in a reflective moment Friday afternoon, “I guess I just kind of froze up.”
A lab manager with 11 years’ experience working in various academic labs, Darderror, acknowledges he may have just psyched himself out. “I don’t know what it was, I mean for God sake they are not even real employees,” he accurately noted.
The night before the interviews Mr Darderror reports that he had prepared a stack of index cards with example questions, printed out the interview schedule, and got a good night’s sleep. However, the next morning Darderror admits that he started having second thoughts about the interviews and felt, “kind of freaked out” by the process.
Worried that he would come off as distracted and unfocussed, Mr Darderror only compounded his nervous anxiety by being distracted and unfocussed. A visibly frustrated Darderror admitted that he had some pretty good talking points lined up in advance but he just couldn’t find a good place to fit them into the flow of conversation.
“The first guy started OK but then I totally flubbed his last name,” which, Darderror confesses left him so flustered that he couldn’t even remember if the second candidate was male or female after they left the room. He concedes that he didn’t make solid eye contact, laughed a bit too loud at their lame attempts at humor, and forgot to shake hands at the beginning and end of most of the interviews.
“I was all over the place and after so much prep time going over my questions in front of the mirror and also in the shower earlier that morning; I let myself down.” he added with visible regret. “By about the third guy I must have pretty much lost it because I can’t even remember how many candidates came in after that, but it must have been a bunch.”
Darderror was philosophical about his performance, noting that, “most of these kids likely had several other interviews lined up with competing labs,” and that some of them probably already had offers in hand. “I was thinking about sending a follow-up blast email to everyone we interviewed,” he lamented, “but I guess what’s the point now? We’re probably never going to hear back from them anyhow.”
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